Who's the Boss? (Spoiler: It's Not Me)

An Apso Owner's Tale of Denial, Defeat, and Dog Hair. So, I stumbled upon this quiz online titled “Who’s in Charge – You or Your Fluffy Companion?” Naturally, I clicked. I mean, I feed him, walk him, bathe him, and pay his vet bills. Of course I’m in charge. Right? Wrong. The quiz was specifically for Apso owners, which should’ve been my first red flag. If you’ve ever met a Lhasa Apso, you know they’re basically tiny emperors in fur coats. The quiz had ten questions. I answered “yes” to eight. EIGHT. That’s not a quiz result—that’s a formal declaration of a coup. Let’s break this down:

Laura Lhasafam

5/15/20251 min read

1. Does your dog fail to get up and out of your way?

Papi doesn’t move. Ever. I’ve tripped over him more times than I can count. He looks at me like “You saw me here. Adjust.”

2. Does your dog try to go through the door first?

Try? He demands it. If I dare go first, he gives me the side-eye like I just violated the Geneva Convention.

3. Does your dog resist giving up objects?

He once held a sock hostage for three hours. I had to bribe him with cheese and a heartfelt apology.

4. Does your dog pull on the leash?

He walks me. I’m just the human-shaped balloon at the other end.

5. Does your dog ever growl at you?

Only when I try to move him from his spot on my couch. The audacity.

6. Does your dog resist grooming?

He acts like nail trimming is a medieval torture ritual. I need a helmet and backup.

7. Does your dog sleep in your bed?

Correction: I sleep on the edge of his bed.

8. Does your dog ignore you when you ask him to come?

He hears me. He just doesn’t respect me.

The quiz said if you answered “yes” to more than three, your dog is in charge. So, yeah. Papi is the CEO of this household. I’m just the unpaid intern who brings snacks and scratches.

But here’s the thing: he knows it. And he loves it.

So if you’re an Apso owner wondering who’s really running the show, take the quiz. Or just look into your dog’s smug little face the next time he refuses to move off your pillow. The truth is in the fluff.